TUPAC WAS RIGHT!! TYT isn't the problem...

Last time out, I conceived my vision of the TYT headquarters -- a ramshackle treehouse enclosing a neighborhood club of brats trying to start some shit, but failing miserably. Actually, the illustration was for a children's book I'm penciling, but the concept of TYT utilizing a space of re-purposed lumber and poorly hammered nails for their production meeting perfectly corresponds to their current state of social media outreach -- haphazard and chaotic, with no clear vision or voice. It was, and still is, a poli-social cartoon emphasizing the continuing issue of the liberal media incapable of simply "getting it together".

Then, THIS happened, compliments of a blogger named Tumic:

Classic case of sour grape syndrome. If you hate TYT and their supposedly self righteous agenda, then why are you so butthurt about them ignoring you? Why bother asking to contribute to them at all? They're New Age Hippies, pseudo progressives yadda yadda - then why lend your talent to these hacks, right? No - you had no issue with them at all when you thought there was a chance they would accept your art. 

Funny that you devote an entire post and cartoon to bashing TYT, trying to call them out as douches, despite the fact that you're the one hurling insults. Do you really think that their ignoring your requests was out of malice?

No. They get a lot of mail, and it's probably hard for them to respond to it all. As an artist who has faced rejection time and time again, sour grapes and acting like a jilted crybaby is highly unattractive to prospective patrons. Grow a pair.

I take Tumeric's words to heart, for in a creepy, mother's basement kind of manner, he's correct. I'm certain those UCLA interns are too busy TXTing their BFFs to concern themselves with a massive envelope full of cartoons. He's probably right that "ignoring" my snail-mail and e-mail submissions wasn't malicious in the least, but rather a network so terribly busy at the present moment that it's difficult to respond to every inquiry.

But alas, Tupac is missing the point completely.... the point being TYT, as stated in the first paragraph, can't "get it together". Not responding to my e-mails and my packet of print cartoons, even with something as sterile as a form letter, illustrates (pardon the pun) a mismanagement prevalent in left-wing media. While FoxNews has their shit in order, running as smoothly and effortlessly as a any propaganda machine in recent memory, the Liberal Left is scattershot. While I'm no fan of Fox, if TYT decided to mimic their strategy, but skew it to the left, they might have something brewing. Instead, they hurl anything they can get their hands on at the wall... and if it sticks, they use it.

One thing Tumor points out, of which I COMPLETELY agree with, is the "targeted approach" in the last cartoon. I should not, as Tuberculosis pointed out, bite the media hand of whom may potentially feed me (he wasn't as eloquent as that, mind you). So, in response to Tubeworm's concerns, I will create a fictitious liberal media platform, called TIT, or The Integrity Tribe. Currently, there is no such network, so bashing said "network" is an exercise in futility and 100% safe. Beginning with the above toon, any future focus upon the circus act also known as the sloppy liberal media shall be directed upon T.I.T.

Time for a little TITy action!!!

The Young Turks Production Meeting #1

An example of what happens when a cartoonist submits snail-mail submissions, email submissions, and a multitude of Twitter and Facebook connections, without so much as a peep in response. No email reply, no "likes", no sanitary "rejection form letter" in the mail.... nothing!

The cartoonist turns on you. What was once viewed as a growing network that might possibly utilize the talents of a social commentary cartoonist for the purposes of extending their reach, is now glared upon as nothing more than a bunch of hipster liberal snot-knockers so enamored with self-righteousness that the simplest of courtesy gestures -- such as responding to an eager cartoonist with a form letter -- is met with disdain, and scoffed upon as a waste of precious time.

A blessing in disguise of a sort.  I'm finding it far easier to tear off massive chunks of ultra-left "progressive" bullshit than when I had my proverbial sights set upon the ultra-right.

Face it, New Age Hippies -- you're just "funnier'.

THE MODERN WOMAN AND WHY SO MANY OF THEM ARE ALONE

Just let the man be the man.

When he opens a door for you, or wishes to take the task of carrying things off your hands, PLEASE don't pull some "I'm-a-strong-lion-goddess-and-I-can-do-it-on-my-own" neo-spiritualistic self love garbage. Just let him be the man, if only for a moment. Really, it's just as much for him as it is for you.

Worse yet, DO NOT mock his chivalry after the fact. Just be thankful the dwindling few who feel you're worth the effort still give a damn.

In the realm of the "New Age Hippie", self-sustenance (with a not too subtle hint of projectionism) has over-written the ingress and egress of social etiquette. Not too long in the past a woman could find herself on a date holding nothing more than a clutch, enveloping her phone, some make-up, and house keys. Money and transportation was the man's problem... and men were okay with that.

Now, if a man as so much hints at flipping the bill, he's due for a next-level flip-out, courtesy of the woman he (up until now) would never dream of NOT treating like a queen. Within moments of "What... is THIS how you're gonna get me to "lose" my Lululemons?! Is THIS your plan", his only "plan" is how to end this date as economically and efficiently as possible... then "lose" her number.

No man enjoys walking on eggshells, thinking that any chivalrous act may be misconstrued as a nefarious plot for cheap sex. A counterpoint: sometimes that's exactly what it is. However, unless it's a blind date, said woman should know enough about the man to gauge his kindness and generosity. If he prefers wearing skin with his Drakkar, loves gold jewelry (on him), and rolls in a dropped Benz -- then perhaps the correction isn't with the man as so much as her choice of the man in the first place.

Let the man be the man. It makes him happy... and makes your life a helluva lot easier.

The Hipster...Explained

NAACP(OS): The National Association for the Advancement of Crooked P.O.S.'s

FLORIDA IN DANGER OF SEPARATION, SAYS EXPERTS

The state of Florida is in grave danger of possibly separating from the mainland due to a recently discovered subterranean "cave bridge". Jules Verne-like submarine "strange".

AP -- A recently discovered map found in a chest of collectables, carbon-dated to approximately 1855, illustrates the passage of an ancient submarine passing beneath the northern section of the Florida "penninsula" (noted as Westland on the map). The map appeared to be something of a novelty... that is, until underwater  topography of the region obtained from a NASA GPR satellite suggests that, in fact, there may very well be truth behind this mysterious page of parchment -- and with it some real-world fear.

"The areas where this submarine-looking vehicle enters and exits the Florida peninsula, between St. John and St. Augustine from the Atlantic, and Deadman Bay from the Gulf, are noted for their ever-changing, sedimentary coastal sea beds, a fact that might have contributed to a discovery of such a cave bridge being unattended to until now," explains Joe Nigro (I swear that's his name... look him up), a geographic information systems specialist and archaeologist by training.  "NASA utilized ground penetrating radar, or GPR, to uncover what appears to be a sea cave that bridges both coastlines, or a 'cave bridge', hidden beneath the sediment".

But the excitement was soon replaced by a growing concern that this cave bridge, length-wise crossing a state already known to be weakly connected to the mainland, might sever Florida from the contiguous 48 in the event of a powerful Hurricane striking the region between Two Saints and Deadman Bay.

The uplift from the low pressure eye might "snap" Florida in two, with the lower half slipping off the continental shelf. It is thought that the drop of the Blake Plateau, on the Atlantic side, would veer the state east in such an event, ultimately leading the land mass to the inescapable depths of the Blake Escarpment, where (according to experts) the entire state may be devoured by the Atlantic Ocean.

But not everybody is convinced of this untimely demise.

Barry "Boon" Dokkes, of the Southeastern States Field Office of the Bureau of Land Management,  raises concerns about the validity of the map. "Nobody questions that there may or may not have been submarines back in the 1850's. And nobody questions that such a submarine might resemble as such described by author Jules Verne  of Captain Nemo fame, who lived in the same period... but Kraken? Come on, people! That's ridiculous! It looks like a cartoonist drew it. This very well could have been a page from a children's book." He added: "So, we're saying that Florida is doomed because of a page from an ancient child's book? I'm not sure Amadeus ever drew children's books, " he confidently chuckled.

We think he meant Nostradamus.

He also noted such a cave bridge might really have been nothing more than a old deep water river. "All the captains needed to know was where the inlets were. Once you're on the river, there's no need for cartography, since it's only taking you to one place."

When asked if a deep water river can disappear in a little more than 150 years, Dokkes smirked and replied "Ask California."  When asked if Florida has ever endured drought conditions similar to California, he blurted, "Sure," and promptly ended the phone conversation.

But Sir Henry Hillhurst of the British Cartographic Society, owns a vastly different opinion. "In reviewing the satellite imagery, topographical and geological information of the region, as well as the map itself, I can confidently conclude that no deep water river ever existed where this cave bridge lies. The depth of it is disturbing, extending beyond what we consider to be the thin water table the state currently rests upon".

As for the style of art, Hillhurst noted that the French maps of the era were inferior to those of the British Navy, and routinely employed novices to ink the parchments. As for the Kraken image, Hillhurst exclaimed: "Completely factual. The British Navy has a long and dreadful history with these beasties of the deep." He added that the Blake Escarpment would be a perfect place to run across this most terrifying of creatures, a monster nearly as horrific as the "dragons of the coastal highlands".

Rick Scott, Governor of Florida, ha already alluded to "concerned Floridians" contacting his office, repeatedly asking about that incident where that "dang bunny done saw up in half".  Scott's office calmly noted that such an event was nothing more than an old Bugs Bunny cartoon and nothing more.

WHY NOBODY TAKES LIBERAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY: PART 1 OF 275