Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Is the above photo the "ultimate" L.A. hipster pic?
That, of course, is open for an opinion of which not the least involves one's independent interpretation of what "defines" a hipster. My personal viewpoint first resides with an absolute lack of sincerity: a phony blend of unsubtle fad fashion cues mixed with selfish disregard for anybody but themselves. It's their world and they'll do what they want, which is fine most of the time -- until they stumble into a cafe half-conscious from a late night bender, non-clean judging from the stench of Patchouli oil overload to mask their body oder, speak very loudly, begin playing a guitar, and generally assume complete control of a piece of heaven you USED to call a relaxing Sunday morning.
Another personal criteria is an appearance of absolute frivolity. With no real job, possession of a "daddy leased" Beemer or Benz with its compliment fuel card of which magically pays itself off every month, credit cards which also magically pay themselves off every month (must be made of a special plastic, eh?), and secure cache of family friends who can land them a job if needed, what care in the world might they hold?
Save the Earth? The Earth's been here billions of years, and will be here long after we're gone.
Save the whales? Why not... and never mind that fam vacay to Japan last year, which was described in various Tweets as "super awesome" and "this is my fav place in teh wurld EVR!" You know Japan slaughters whale.....right?
Back to the photo. Interpretations may vary, but the "standard candles" are all there. It's got everything required to qualify as the quintessential representation of all that is SoCal Hipster.
I mean, EVERY single ingredient is there:
1. It's from the Max Landis Facebook page (he's above left from the "bear"), who himself is a Hollywood rich kid with nothing better to do with his life but pull sh*t like this all day long.
2. His friends wear beanies indoors.
3. Mocking The Last Supper, which is in line with typical hipster "hate disguised as humor" takes.
4. Every single human(oid?) in that photo appears to emanate from family wealth... which means they lack the necessary mental tools required to fully comprehend, and therefore understand, reality.
5. Opulent surroundings -- luxurious furniture and appointments -- intertwined with cheap take out pizza and 6-pack beer. And, while we're on the topic of "beer"....
6. The chick wearing the King Cobra tee. Doubt she's EVER roamed a mean street in her life.
7. A minimum of ONE (1) person wearing non-prescription glasses for fashion purposes alone.
8. Somebody in a stupid costume that makes no sense in comparison to the content.
9. Blow-out tees.
10. Not one guy appears to have ever set foot in a gym at any time in their lives.
11. At least TWO (2) Tomboy chicks.
12. Expressions of angst.
13. Fake lesbians.
14. Colorful skinny jeans (this is assumed)
15. A repressed gut feeling you'd like to leap into the photo and kick somebody's ass.
Like I said, it's got it all, and it's MY nominee as the ultimate Hipster Pic of 2014.