MEN... SEE EPIC PHOTO BELOW AND ASK YOURSELF THIS: ARE YOU IMPRESSED?
The answer, according to this morning's coffeeshop discussion is: Abso-frickin-loutely!! The women, on the other hand.... hands in the air, baffled, asking aloud why we should care. After all, it's "just" facial hair.
No, ladies. It's more... much. much more!
Because it's a massive commitment to grow an awesome porn stache sans porn industry employment -- and THAT is something women DO understand, since "commitment" and "modern man" seemingly go together as seamlessly as "cozy blanket" and "high colonic". Think about it: Each morning, you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror. The electric (or other) razor is RIGHT THERE.... and you muster enough positive affirmation NOT to turn that lip fuzz, and the swipe of a blade, into a pipe clog. That's will power right there! Some women love it, and some women hate it -- but dudes will always think it's cool. It's also the closest thing us men have to getting a perm (unless you're a cat stuck in the '70's), freshly painted nails (unless you're Eddie Izzard), or a bikini wax (unless you're European).
The conversation soon found its way to a secondary reason as to WHY a man would grow a 'stache. During the month of November, a movement called Mo'vember rises to the forefront, It finds men growing moustaches in a quest to raise needed awareness for both Prostate and Testicular Cancer. It's a more than worthy cause. These two killers are to us as Breast Cancer is to women, and funding is in desperate need to mitigate and combat these inflictions.
Unfortunately, the movement also points to an obvious discrepancy.
You see, for Breast Cancer awareness, most major sports -- from Major League Baseball to the NFL to the NBA -- celebrate Breast Cancer awareness by wearing pink. Pink cleats, pink gloves (football), pink sweatbands, pink towels, pink socks, etc etc.. Even those crazy Europeans and that "sport" they have where they kick around what appears to be a spherical chessboard (very strange, indeed) find some way to recognize this movement, though they don't wear pink -- mainly since half the soccer clubs in man-purse toting Italy have pink as a team color... bizarre. And, naturally, there's the iconic pink ribbon, of which we are all quite familiar.
And Testicular/Prostate Cancer has.... temporary porn 'staches? Come on (pardon the pun).
So, I suggest a solution: If Breast cancer has pink ribbons, then why can't Testicular/Prostate Cancer have Fuzzy Stachebons? See below for visual representation of concept:
It's a brilliant idea... well, according to me, that is. It's a fuzzy horizontal ribbon with, eh... dangling ornaments. Each "ornament" represents Testicular Cancer and Prostate Cancer (after all, can YOU definitively state what a prostate actually looks like?). And the ornaments can be blue, since we all know blue is the universal color of "man". Men can wear the stachbon to work, on a jog, at the cafe, at sporting events -- everywhere! People will turn to the bearer and exclaim "My God, what is that THING?!" The bearer can then either say, in kind: a) "It's my pet Himalayan Hairy Butterfly, dumbass!"; or b) educate the inquisitive on the dangers of Prostate and Testicular Cancer, and need for additional research funding to fight these killers.
Who knows. I might be on to something here.
