Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Marlboro iPhone Sleeve


Nearly every day I sit at my favorite coffee hang, sipping my brew, doing whatever it is I'm doing that particular morning.  Several of my buddies own iPhones, as do I, and over time I've observed an interesting phenomenon shared by millions of smokers worldwide: The moment one of us whips out our little bit of Steve Jobs brilliance, it literally takes mere seconds for at least one, but more often than not several, of us to unconsciously procure our iPhones, as well.  
I've seen this occur with smokers as long as I can remember.  Two smokers are having a conversation, and one of them, sans a break in said conversation, will blindly present a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and pull one for a smoke. But, as the conversation continues, and before the first smoker has a chance to light his cigarette, the second smoker will unconsciously reach for HIS pack of cigarettes.  Again, without any pause or break in conversation, as though on instinct. No looking down, no break in eye contact, as natural and matter-of-factly as scratching an itch or rubbing your neck.  By the time the first has lit up, first drag done, the second has cigarette in mouth, ready to rock.  Perhaps this is all due to a strong Power of Suggestion between addicts, a simple nudging of the mind by an outside force to suggest the proverbial "smoke 'em if you got 'em".

Of course, this would suggest iPhone owners are helpless addicts, as well... which got me thinking.

It's called the Marlboro iPhone Protection Pack (though any tobacco company will do). The concept is simple: since iPhones are nearly as addictive and subconsciously controlling as cigarettes, so then why not conceal them in a modified cigarette case?  The case would include a patent-pending Palm Tap® action, which would reveal your iPhone in the same manner a smoker taps the bottom of his or her case to expose a cigarette for removal.  The action would allow the phone to be elevated just enough to read the name of the incoming caller, in the event you choose not to answer.  The flip top would have an opening for your headphones, so you may easily smoke and talk at the same time without volcanic damage to the touch screen.  And it's cool (at least for the Japanese).  

Smokers may voice their support against the totalitarian control of health fascists worldwide by proudly encasing their mobile device within their Marlboro iPhone Protection Packs, and by doing so reveal they own two debilitating addictions, rather than just one.


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