The 20 grand Ferrari

A friend who's not incredibly savvy with anything engine-driven noted the above photo posted on my Facebook page, which of course is the new Ducati 1199 Panigale.  He chuckled: "Nice death machine".

My response is not unlike a response from any lover of two-wheeled Saturn 5 land rockets:

"Bikes don't kill riders. Riders kill riders".

His almost immediate response of suddenly popping an unintended wheelie or powering through a turn into oncoming traffic -- in other words, the basic list of every motorcycle horror story you've ever heard -- was just as quickly thwarted with a response of my own: throttle control.  I could have dug in with a sermon of general motorcycle riding dynamics, but that would have gone over as well as Fat Elvis slamming a stoppie on a '68 Triumph while leaning forward over the bars.

This guy didn't have a clue from the word "go".  The fundamental truth is, for roughly 20 to 24 out the door (for the base and S models), one can own THE BEST superbike in the world.   Try pulling a similar trick as a cager (car driver). Hit up glory spots like The Auto Gallery in Calabasas, and ask for "the best of the best".  By the way, you'd better have that second mortgage ready to drop.  In that realm, $24,000 gets you a set of brakes and a wheel rotation. $240,000 gets the salesman talking... and that number speaks only for entry level fare.

There's nothing wrong with Italian muscle -- I've always been partial to the Horse, the Bull, and the Pitchfork... I know, the Maserati logo isn't a pitchfork, unless you once owned a flambe BiTurbo and it caught fire while you were still in it -- but for the price of a service you can own a World's Greatest!

How much does the World's Greatest watch cost?

Or the World's Greatest private jet?

Or the World's Greatest yacht?

For instance, you can own a Ulysse Nardine "Maxi Marine Diver" gold chronograph watch, or you can own the best superbike ever to roll off an assembly line.

The best!  Not the most expensive.  Not the most exclusive.  The BEST.

My friend, dumbfounded and defeated, had only a singular response: "But what if it rains?"

My response: "Switch it to Rain Mode".  I'm not 100% certain he was close to asking if umbrellas pop out of the fairings before stopping himself short, but I would not have put it past him.