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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

McAllister Cooked and Other Stupid Politicians

LOL at politicians. Who needs reality TV when we've got THESE fellas.

I've said it all too often -- Republican or Democrat... it matters very little. The key term is "politician". The Statesmen disappeared in the waning moments of the 19th century. By declaration of Lord Byron, "power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

You may be a family man. You may be a God-fearing man. But, if you're a ladies man, and you own a degree of power, you've got it made!

Unless there's a camera nearby.

Aaaaannnd something called "the internet".

I'm wondering if these politicians who continuously finds themselves on the wrong end of an aperture setting -- while both their proverbial pants and third leg lay the wrong ways vertically and horizontally, irrespectfully -- actually KNOW that automobiles no longer run on steam?  Do they understand, albeit one would think a "given", that the sun does NOT revolve around the Earth (despite what Kate Mulgrew says). Perhaps we should tap them on the shoulder and whisper, "Hey, that's not a tiny window... that's a television set".

Are you kidding me?  This is way too much fun. And, if we employ a little dose of brain matter to the mix, we can increase the fun factor sevenfold.

We can spread a rumor that Bugs Bunny has risen from Toontown ("Roger Rabbit" being a documentary) and has declared FloriDUH to be cut from the union via one massive saw, just like he did in his cartoon. Watch in delight as the FloriDUH lawmakers scream in horror and push legislation the place NSA taps on all Warner Brother cartoon characters.

By way of good ol' Twitter, we can lay waste to the Texans in the House by grass rooting a phony campaign by a fictitious Native American group, declaring the name "Cowboy" to be morally unsettling due to the deaths of so many Hollywood indians over the hundreds of westerns produced in the past century, and to suggest a responsible alternative name: Cattlers.

Mississippiippii (?), the cesspool of former power boss Trent Lott (how they remained so poor despite his influence on Capitol Hill continues to confound me).  We can lay a stinkbomb rumor on StumbleUpon that, due to federal budgetary concerns, a bill will be introduced to limit the number of recurring letters in the name of a state to "2", thus forcing Mississippi to become "Misisipp".

Which sounds a lott like "misstep" or "mishap", and that's a whole heaping helping of apropos if you ask me.

It's like a high-concept version of America's Funniest Home Videos, only scarier. Still littered with idiots doing stupid things.

But idiots we elected.

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