CUDDLES THE EASTER BUNNY FINDS HIS WAY INTO THE FOX NEWS HEADQUARTERS, AND BUMPS INTO MEGYN KELLY:
Cuddles: Yo, blondie. I got a beef wit ya.
MK: Good God. Are you REALLY a 6 foot talking rabbit... with a Jersey accent?
Cuddles: Do people take your word as almighty law of the land?
MK: Of course.
Cuddles: Well, if dat can happen, so can I. Anyways, you said Jesus and Santa are white, which would signify -- and stop me if I'm wrong here -- dat YOU think they both exist.
MK: Yes, they're both white. And yes, they both exist.
Cuddle: Hate to rain on your existential parade and all, but if they exist, and you're standing in front of me havin' a conversation, then I must exist too, right?
MK: I think you're confusing existentialism with inductive logic.
Cuddles: I'm a 6 foot cigar-chompin' bunny wit problems. You gonna argue wit me?!!
MK: My mistake. Yes, that's existentialism.
Cuddles: Now, do I exist or not?
MK: I seem to be clear in thought, and I haven't had an "episode" since the bleach incident... and I'm on my medication, haven't smoked weed in a week, and I haven't had any Absinthe since Tuesday. So, concluding that I am currently in my natural and normal "FoxNews Blonde" state of being... then YES, I think you DO exist.
Cuddles: I could be Cenk Uygur in a bunny get-up.
MK: No, no. Liberals aren't THAT bright.
Cuddles: But YOU just said a 6 foot talking bunny rabbit is REAL.
MK: Well because you're standing here talking to me.
Cuddles: I said hi to Dana Perino jus' a moment ago. She ran out of the building screaming in terror.
MK: Did you throw a shoe at her?
Cuddles: Talking bunnies don't wear shoes.
MK: Oh.... then I can't imagine why. You seem nice enough.
Cuddles: I said hi to Chris Wallace. He threw a rock at me.
MK: Oh, that. It's just a little thing he's got with O'Reilly about re-enacting David and Goliath.
Cuddles: O'Reilly in a bunny suit?
MK: He does that sometimes.
Cuddles: Now DAT'S weird!
MK: Yeah. I know, right? That IS weird. But, we love him unconditionally.
Cuddles: You DO remember you're talking to a 6 foot talking bunny.
MK: Of course. I can see you. What's your point?
(pause)
Cuddles: There is no point. Happy &*%$# Easter, Megyn.
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